Trainable Moments: Hey Sexy Lady!

Well this year brought a pretty catchy song to the forefront...Psy's " Gangnam Style, in which he calls out, "Hey Sexy Lady."  Even though it's a catchy little tune, the message just really bothers me.  When did we decide that it was acceptable to call out to women in such a way?  And why should we let our children sing it?  True, this is just a song and it is everywhere.  You may say, "So what's the big deal?  It's just a silly song."

The big deal is that it plants a seed that being "sexy" is of high value and that it's acceptable to view women as an object.  As a parent of 4 boys, it's certainly not what I want them to learn.

Well a few months back Eli came home from school, singing this little diddy.  We told him that "sexy" was not a word that was appropriate for a 7 year old to be saying.  He was fine with that and didn't ask what it meant.  Well...it kind of had a trickle down effect.  Noah quickly caught on and began singing it quite frequently.  Noah is our more sneaky child.  He will do something on purpose with the intent to annoy you.  I blame the middle child syndrome (that same syndrome is also responsible for some of the funniest storytelling around).

I thought we had gotten them over that song...but it's made another appearance this summer.  While Noah sings it to annoy me, Eli sings it because he's OCD and can't get it out of his head.  So today at lunch we had a trainable moment.

They were all sitting at the table eating (a fairly rare occurrence) and Eli started singing it, again.  I decided it was time to explain to him what it meant and the meaning behind it.  I explained that sexy was really just another word for pretty, but that it could be used in a disrespectful way.  I told them that when they were older and were thinking of dating girls, that it shouldn't just be because a girl was pretty that they should date them.

I asked them what other things were important about choosing a girl to date.  Eli said, "they should like the same things you like."  Noah said, "they should like to eat at the same restaurants as me."  (Whoever Noah ends up with is going to have to be a fabulous cook, because food is the boy's love language!:)

I told them those were both very important but the most important thing is that they love God.

 Eli said, "Oh yeah!  I am definitely not gonna marry someone who loves the devil.  That would not be a good idea!  We would fight about my job since I'm gonna be a Pastor!"  Oh he cracks me up!

I explained to them, that above all else we have to show girls respect and always talk to them with respect, because that's what God expects of us.  They were all listening very well and I think were understanding what I meant.  I'm guessing we will only have to have this conversation about 1,000 more times!  :)

We always joke about Jonah having so many girlfriends.  I think he's up to 5 now!  I've realized I need to do a much better job of pointing out their character traits to him instead of just focusing on their outward beauty.  They are all absolutely beautiful, but he needs to be able to recognize their other traits as well.

As important as it is to train up girls to be modest and not focused on their appearance, I think it's equally important to train up boys to be respectful and to look at a girl's heart not just her body.  I want them to be able to see women through God's eyes not the world's.

I love these trainable moments with the boys.  The ones that come out of just talking.  I love being able to share with them at times when they aren't in trouble and I'm not losing my temper.  Not only do they learn, (I hope!), but I can sit back and just see how much MORE training I have to do with them.  They are growing up before my eyes and I know that they will be gone before I know it.  It's my job to help mold them into men, men who love God, men who are providers, men of integrity, and men who treat their wives with respect!  What a big job!  I'm so glad I get to do it just one day at a time! :)  And with 4 boys, that means I have 4 tries, surely I'll get it right once! :)

Well as soon as our serious conversation wrapped up, Noah asked, "Mom, how old will Micah be when you and Dad are dead?"  Seriously?  Help me! :)

~Kristee