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| My little men! |
I ran across
this article on Yahoo the other day and it really bothered me. It's titled "8 Reasons Why I Love Having a Little Boy," I you read through the author's list, 4 of her 8 reasons, have to do with clothing or appearance. That's half! So half of the ways this woman is publicly expressing her love her little boy is based on his outward appearance. Not just his own physical appearance but also how she's able to dress him. Anyone else find that a bit disturbing?
I remember when Eli was first born, having fun changing him into all of his little outfits. It was fun. I'd change his clothes "just because". Fast forward to #4, Micah, I change his clothes because he's spit up on them. WAY too much laundry to play dress up! :)
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's wrong to make sure your kids look nice before you leave the house. Clean and presentable is good for social reasons. Nobody wants their child to look like Pig Pen! But I think you have to look deeper. I think we have to ask ourselves:
- What is our motive for having such rigid standards of appearance?
- As the parent, what message are we sending when such importance is placed on appearance?
- Are we sending the message that to be accepted you must look and dress a certain way?
- Are we intentionally teaching your children how God sees them?
I think first of all, kids need to know:
We are chosen and created by God!
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light
Ephesians 1:4-5
4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. 5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Genesis 1:27
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
We are dearly loved by God!
1 John 4:10
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Ephesians 3:16-19
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Romans 8:38-39
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
God tells us that He sees our heart, not our appearance!
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Samuel 16:7
The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
These are just a small sampling of verses. But I encourage you to write them on note cards and place them around your house and read them to your children everyday. We have to make sure will fill up those little brains of theirs with God's truth rather than the lies of the world!
Alright back to the article:
I guess I might expect this type of thinking from a mother of a girl. I'm told it's quite fun dressing girls up and fixing their hair, etc. But I was a little surprised that this came from a mom of a boy.
It's no secret, I would have loved to have been the mother of a little girl. (I'll admit I shed a few tears in a couple of different ultrasound rooms, especially this last time!) Sometimes I forget that indeed I am a momma to a precious little girl! My little gal is just waiting for her momma in heaven! Someday, my sweet Chara! :) But as much as I miss her and wonder what it would have been like raising her, I can't even imagine what life would be like without my little boys!
So I started thinking, what is so special about having little boys? What do I love about my boys?
1. First of all, they are a gift from God. He gave me these boys! So how could I NOT think that they are perfect!
Psalm 127:3 (NLT) Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Even on my most frustrating days, I KNOW that God gave me 4 better gifts than anything I could have ever picked for myself.
2.
I get to see life through a completely different lens. My experience with little boys is very limited since I grew up with only sisters. It is amazing at how differently they see the world. Everything is a competition, a weapon and is either on fire or about to explode. It confuses me a little, but I love it.
3.
Their hugs and kisses are the best! Don't let their tough exterior fool you! As hardcore boy as they all are, they are still incredibly sweet and loving.
4.
They are so funny in a completely weird way and that's OK! These boys are cra-azy funny and the best part is half the time they don't even know it! The stories they tell, the make-believe they play, even the toot (we don't say fart) jokes and poop, they some how make it all hilarious. Yeah I know potty humor-not funny-I know, BUT sometimes the gut busting belly laughs it produces, is well worth it! Lighten up Mommas! :)
5. As their mom, I get to be their first love! I hope! :) It's a little frightening to know that I'll be the one who they will compare their future spouses to. They'll either want to marry someone exactly like me or completely opposite of me! :)
6.
We get to teach boys how to be men. Teaching them how to be Godly men, men of integrity, and men who love and lead their families. The hugeness of this job is a little overwhelming, but I know it's what God has called us to do. I can't wait to see who they are in 20 years.
7.
They are great problem solvers. Even as little boys, they possess that manly trait of "wanting to fix the problem."
8.
They will never be Jr. High girls! Jeff & I joke about this all the time. We will miss out on all of the hormonal girl drama! Instead we get smelly feet, squeaky voices, and bottomless pits to feed. We will be taking food donations for that! :)
Oh how I love my little guys! I couldn't ask for anything else! Sometimes, when I'm in the middle of a frustrating, chaotic day, I forget just how blessed I am!
~Kristee
